Every have a realization that your soul is dry? And it’s probably been that way for a while but you’ve had so many things distracting you that it’s not until everything is done, calmed down, etc., that you wonder “Why do I feel empty?” I’ve begun to realize that my soul has been empty and dry for a bit – it’s not a pleasant feeling.
So much has happened over the past months that it’s been challenging. I felt the first “ping” of a water drop hitting an empty tin bucket when I was in Peru. Driving along out in the jungle with friends and family I felt a peace and ache in my chest and a sense of “all is right in the world at this moment.” It wasn’t exactly right, but there’s no other way to describe it. Out in nature I connect best with God and feel closest to Him.
Two Sundays ago I skipped church because I was exhausted and had spent some good time chatting with a friend until late the night before. It’s not necessarily a good thing to do, but I had church on the back porch looking at trees and the sky brewing a storm with a cat curled up in my lap. And God met me there. He answered a question I had been asking Him. Although, in that exact moment I hadn’t asked Him the question but was just enjoying reading His word. It was a surprise but so refreshing.
I’ve continued to pull back layers and see ways I’ve pushed too hard in things or gave too much and didn’t listen to what God was trying to tell me. Decisions that weren’t easy happened and I’ve been learning to live in singleness again and also in freedom. The biggest piece has been in reconnecting with my Comforter, Provider, and Peace. I’ve started to listen a little more as well as talk a little more. This past Sunday was awesome as I worshipped. It’d been a while since I’d really worshipped and while I only made it in for the last song (I was greeting at church) I truly was in His presence and overwhelmed by His awesomeness and love.
My soul isn’t full yet, but the awareness is helping and meeting with Him is good. He is my constant and my motivation. He is the wellspring of life, joy, and peace. Have you met with Him today? How is He filling you up?