The past couple of months God has been stirring in my heart change. In the recent month He’s been saying trust – Trust me with your finances, trust me with your heart,… Trust seems like such a simple word but it can be difficult to put into action. I thought I understood the change God was bringing; I thought I was learning to trust. But I learned that in less than ten seconds all of that can change!
On Saturday I was driving to meet up with two friends to watch a movie. We had rescheduled it from Friday night to Saturday because one of my friends was really tired. The red light quickly turned red and I put on my brakes and stopped. In that short space of time I heard the squealing and felt the impact. It’s amazing how fast your life and plans change.
The guy behind me had been messing with his stereo, didn’t see me, and hit me going about 20 miles an hour. I praise God that no one else was injured and it was just me and him. We had witnesses and the police arrived within five minutes I think. But I knew that this meant going back to the chiropractor; I knew it meant putting my road trip plans on hold; and I knew it meant a lot of physical limitations that I thought I would not have to deal with again. As the pain settled in, so did discouragement – wondering why God had given me this new trial to walk through?
But today I was reminded in my reading that He is my strength and my joy. I think back on the Scriptures that He has had me meditating on for the past month – Psalm 62 where it says He is my rock and my peace; He is my hope; pour out my heart to him; rejoice! In Isaiah He spoke to me about instructing me and listening to Him each morning. These verses are written on my whiteboard at the office and are daily reminders of those truths.
In my discouragement over the pain, the physical limitations, the changes to getting to see people face-to-face, I’m reminded that I don’t walk alone. I have a team of people who are part of my ministry that pray for me and encourage me. Many of you have written me words of encouragement – pointing me to the truth that remains the same. I am blessed to be God’s ambassador, your hands and feet to many people still wait to hear God’s good news.
So, as I sit here sipping a protein drink (because dinners are just unappetizing right now and my body and brain shut down by about 2 or 3 PM), I ponder and write about the truths that God has been giving me. I may be icing my back and consistently taking ibuprofen; I may be shuffling and limping around like an older person, but He is always there. He is my strength, He is my peace, He is my refuge, He is my joy! And I’m not alone.