I’ve been in a “funk” the past few months that crescendoed like one of Beethoven’s symphonies and crashed like Niagara Falls. (Yes, I’m going for epic descriptions right now). As I’ve processed and pondered why I’ve reached this point I’ve come up with some reasons.
1) Over the last 9 ½ years I’ve been constantly traveling I realize. Only in 2009 did I travel the least with maybe only a couple of trips that year. Otherwise it’s been every month trips (or multiple in a month) to every other month trips pretty much for the past 9 ½ years. What?!
2) In those 9 ½ years I’ve moved to South America where I had three homes, the USA where I had two homes, then Africa where I’m constantly traveling and have yet to make a home. Living out of suitcases for this amount of time is wearying.
3) My roots are always being pulled up. And I don’t mean roots as in a house and physical location necessarily (though it is a part I suppose). When I say roots I mean people. I build community and finally get it established after 2-3 years and then I say good-bye and move to a new country/continent. That community usually then disbands or fades away with only a few that stay.
4) I’m single so I don’t carry home with me nor do I have one to go back to when I’m done with my trip like marrieds have. Yes, there are great advantages in that I can up and change and travel because there’s only me to think about. But it’s not healthy to have that constant lifestyle and not have a community. Sure, I have false community like Facebook and somewhat community through texting and emailing. But face to face community is hard to build when you’re never there. (I get told “You’ve been lost” a lot!)
So, what’s my advice right now? Besides setting good boundaries (Which I do, ask anyone who knows me), take a moment to evaluate your life:
What do you need to build sustainability in your lifestyle of serving? Is it a place you can call home and settle and build while traveling out from there?
Who are your friends that are proactive in staying in touch, not you being the one to always initiate? How do you build those relationships and hang on to them?
If God’s made you a certain way and given you certain desires, are you in a place where those can be met and you can grow in that?
How are you staying filled so that you’re not “pouring out of an empty teapot”? How are you spiritually feeding yourself? How are you emotionally feeding yourself? How are you getting away and resting from your labors?
And if you’re like me (young female) and you “glow” as you walk the streets, how are you getting away from the sexual harassment you’re facing? Yeah, it may roll off you but trust me, eventually it starts to stick. Where is your safe recovery place so you can face going out of your house again?
There’s so much more to process and that I could write, but….That’s all for now, Folks!